Flying Canoe, by Jim Erlandson

Jim caught this 3 lb 6 oz. crappie & 7 lb. 15 oz Largemouth Bass on Aug 31, 2001 at a little lake in Olympia WA. (which to protect his hot-spot will remain nameless). These were caught on two consecutive casts using a purple “Curly Tail Grub”.       .   THE BALLAD OF THE UNIDENTIFIED FLYING CANOE by Jim Erlandson     Some men are born in sight of the sea and live by the pull of the tide. They grow up with the smell of the salt in their blood, and sail the oceans wide. But some, like me are landlubbers grim who live In the rocks and the trees, Yet dream of waves and wind and whales, and ships that sail the seas.     And so when I met those men true and bold that crafted the ship called "The Lady", I couldn't resist the Donkey's Breakfast, and to sing all them chanteys so weighty. So then, here and there we rattled the air with songs both fiction and true, And it led to the tale, which still leaves me pale, of "the unidentified flying canoe".     ‘Twas the fourth of July in the year '94 and so hot the sun fried your brain. In Yakima town the folk festival sound was accompanied by praying for rain. We sang in the morn and again late at night, but were free for most of the day. And thinking of bass in the ponds near the tracks, I had hauled my canoe all the way.     Now, some men will fish from trawlers at sea and some men will wade in the muck, Well, I don't know why, but I likes my butt dry, so I keeps my canoe on my truck. A rope fore and aft for to tie down the craft, but ropes on occasion get spongy, So to keep it on tight as I flies through the night, l straps it down good with a bungee.     The morning went well, we all gave 'em hell, with our ballads and chanteys, and songs, The afternoon too, as I sailed my canoe, for the bass and the trout came in throngs. But is often the case in that forsaken place, as the sun she began to pale, The heat from the valley met the chill from the hills, and whipped up one god-awful gale.     That night in the pub, after downing some grub, we sang and we chanted and bellowed, The crowd was impressed with Donkey's Breakfast and bought several rounds for us fellows. Still, all the while we were making them smile and singing them verse after chorus, Outside, all around, from the sky to the ground a tempest of wind waited for us.     When finally we sung our last farewell song and packed up our instrumentation, I trudged into the wind, to head home again for some rest and some rejuvenation. The gale was so big, as I ran for my rig, it damn near laid me fiat to the ground. So it gave me no thrill to head over the hill to my home down on old Puget Sound.     Now interstate 12 heads into the hills a four hour drive o'er the pass, A head wind so strong, to keep going along, l just plain had to stand on the gas. With both hands on the wheel I started to feel the most unearthly strange sensation, Front wheels leaving the road, hell, my whole damn load was starting to gain elevation.     Then, over my head, as onward I sped into the gloom and the night, With a blood chilling wrench, the damn bungee stretched and the canoe turned into a kite, Front wheels free and clear, destiny near, my life passing in front of my eyes, The bungee came loose, the rope slipped it's noose, the canoe headed into the skies.     I’ve seen no sight so queer, through a rear view mirror, and it chilled me through and through Fifty feet in the air, over cars, horns a blare, flew my shiny aluminum canoe. With a life of it’s own, as if riding the foam, sailing o'er highway and rocky protrusion, Passing out of the light, disappearing in night, like some hallucinogenic illusion.     Well I’ll be a sport and cut this tale short, though it keeps trying to grow with the telling, I got turned around and finally found the canoe up near a sheep herder's dwelling. Now the problem became attaching the thing to the truck without bungee or rope. But down by my feet, pushed under the seat, was an object that gave me some hope.     Out by Hood Canal, with the ferns and salal, grows a plant in the moss and moosh, A plant without which life would be a bitch, the world famous Duckabush. This bush as you know. has a fruit that does grow with adhesive you cannot escape. A fruit that will mend, modern man's best friend, the substance we now call Duck tape.     So around truck and canoe, up and down, in and through, by the light of the quarter moon, I duck taped the mess till, wouldn't you guess, if looked like a giant cocoon. Off into the night, spreading terror and fright, I drove this ungodly devise. Till at last, tired and drawn, and getting near dawn, I arrived at my home paradise.     The very next day I stopped on the way to my job to pick up a paper. When what should I see on the stand in front of me, but a headline that told of my caper. The Yakima Herald, a rag straight and narrow, told the tale purportedly true, That witnesses numerous, not trying to be humorous, saw an unidentified flying canoe.     Now the moral of this verse, though somewhat perverse, could stretch a man’s imagination. No matter your call it applies to us all, regardless of ship or of station. Whatever life's road, when hauling a load, whether flimsy or made of concrete. Secure it down tight, with all of your might and carry duck tape under your seat.                                                       TRIPLES with EMMA

 

 

Spirit of the Christmas Season, by Jim Erlandson

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~                     The Olympian      Saturday, November 29, 1997      >PERSPECTIVE        Spirit of the season can become confused          By Jim Erlandson             For The Olympian          The Advent season is now upon us, and as is usually the case at this time of year,        I find  myself struggling with the crass commercialism of the season. It frustrates        me and many others that the core themes which should be commemorated, the        coming of the messiah, and the nature of his humble birth are often lost in a        conglomeration of folk traditions and marketing strategies.          Most of us inherit family traditions concerning the Christmas season. Many of                     these traditions, while not truly "religious" in nature, still promote positive        elements in our family and social relationships. The shared meals, the giving        and receiving of gifts, the music, the fragrance of evergreen bows, the search        for the perfect tree; all of these activities and more can be a positive part of        the joyous season.          The key to sincere Christians who wish to celebrate Christmas for all the right        reasons is not so much which icons or activities that we pursue, but the        underlying reasons and focus of celebration. To state it simply what is important        is why you rejoice, not how you rejoice.               I am constantly amazed at the deviousness of the adversary. Whether you call it        Lucifer, Satan, the devil, old Nick, or some other name, there is a force on earth        that acts against God and tempts man to act against God. Deceit and misdirection        of values is the way this force subverts even the most well intentioned of us into        blind alleys and wrong thinking. What has happened in the secularization of        Christmas is an excellent example of this subtle deceit.          If someone had told the Apostle Paul that in the 20th century more than one billion        people would celebrate the birth of Jesus he would have been amazed and        delighted. However, could Paul have seen the way that his Lord and Savior's        name was used to market toys, food, material goods, music and everything else        you can imagine, he would have felt as Jesus did when he threw the money        changers out of the temple in Jerusalem.          So what can we do to fight the prostitution of what should be a holy and peaceful        season? Should we retreat from all the contrivances of society and not have a        Christmas tree, or not give gifts to our loved ones, or not have the kids picture        taken with Santa? Should we retreat in our sanctuaries and cathedrals and        celebrate Christ's birth only in those separate places?          No, we must be visible, faithful Christians if we are to serve our Lord as he has        requested. Not only must we be visible, but our faith must be visible in all we do        to commemorate his birth. In our gift giving, our faith in Christ must be visible, in        our feasting our faith must be visible, in our decorations , our faith must be        visible, in our children's stories, our faith must be visible. In all our activities        especially during this season, our faith is what makes the difference between        an empty; materialistic commercial of Christmas and a happy, holy Christ        centered Christmas.          So, my best wishes to you this Christmas is that you will remember to witness        in all your activities, that you have faith in his saving grace and that you are full        of joy that he came to earth to set us free.            Jim Erlandson is an elder of the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ (RLDS), Olympia.        The  Perspective column is coordinated by Associated Ministries in cooperation with The        Olympian. The views expressed are those of the author and are not necessarily endorsed        by Associated Ministries or  The Olympian

TRIPLES with EMMA
 

Gaangare[1].mid

Attachment: Gaangare[1].mid

Our Hobbies

This photo was taken a few years ago but Jim is still an avid fisherman. Another hobby is writing stories

The "Zoom In" Link has been replaced by the "Slideshow" link. The Slideshow is now where you can zoom in on all photos in the album you're viewing. After you open the Slideshow, use the "Settings" to choose how large you want photos to appear.